CAMPAIGNS
Working with Communities
Dealing with the challenges of today requires problem-solvers who bring different perspectives. Each One Hold One emerged out of a pursuit to inspire and support the community, and a desire for actions to speak louder than words. Established in 2020, we’re an organisation driven by progressive ideas, bold actions, and a strong foundation of support.
OUR CAMPAIGNS
THE WOMEN'S COAT OF ARMOUR
The South African Automobile Association (AA) together with Each One Hold One (EOHO) launched:
"The Women's Coat of Armour", aimed to curb and drastically reduce the existence of Gender-Based Violence (GBV). Violence in any form is a social evil that does nothing to further the lives of victims and perpetrators alike. It has been allowed to deeply root itself in societies globally.
Victims, often overwhelmed by the predicament they find themselves in, are oblivious to the avenues available to get them out of traumatic situations. These victims are in obvious need of help, and the AA assisted by EOHO, now makes provision for victims to educate themselves, seek help and receive the assistance they require.
Necessary information and resources will be contained on this website, to assist victims at any stage of their ordeal. We want to create a culture of accountability amongst all role players, with a serious focus on victim empowerment and transforming victims into survivors.
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As part of the Women's Coat of Armour campaign, EOHO in partnership with AA South Africa subsidises the main member's premium for the first 3 months. Your safety is our concern. Click "Sign Up Here" for more information.
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YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Am I in an abusive relationship?
How can you spot the more subtle signs of abuse? What do you need to look out for – not just in your own relationship, but those of the people you know and care about?
Some of the things an abusive partner will do:
• Humiliate you
• Shout at you
• Put you down and criticise you
• Ignore or belittle your accomplishments
• Blame you for their own behaviour or mistakes
• See you as their property
• Ignore your feelings or wishes
• Hold you responsible for their feelings
• Have unreasonable expectations of you
• Have unreasonable expectations of your children
• Be jealous or possessive
• Pick fault with your family or friends
• Discourage you from seeing your family and friends
• Be resentful of your happiness
• Restrict your access to your phone, car or money
• Keep tabs on your emails, phone and social media accounts
• Keep track of your movements
• Force, or guilt you to have sex
• Act recklessly with your joint finances
• Force you to live beyond your means
• Accuse you of having affairs
• Threaten to take your children away from you
• Threaten to harm your children
• Use emotional blackmail
• Threaten to harm you
• Threaten to harm themselves
• Destroy your home or possessions
• Fly off the handle for no reason
• Pick fights when you’re about to go out
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This list is not exhaustive, but it is indicative of the warning signs to look out for that someone may be abusive.
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
How can I help someone else?
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Listen, try to understand and take care not to blame. Tell them they are not alone and that there are many women like her in the same situation.
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Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. Give them time to talk, but don’t push them to go into too much detail if they do not want to.
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Acknowledge they are in a frightening and very difficult situation.
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Tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has told them. Nothing they can do or say can justify the abuser’s behaviour.
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Support her as a friend. Encourage her to express her feelings, whatever they are. Allow her to make her own decisions.
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Don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they are not ready.
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Ask if they have suffered physical harm. If so, offer to go with them to a hospital or the GP.
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Help them to report the assault to the police if they choose to do so.
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Be ready to provide information on organisations that offer help on gender based violence (GBV). Explore the available options.
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Go with them to visit their attorney if ready to do so.
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Plan safe strategies for leaving an abusive relationship (see the safety plan document)
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Let them create boundaries of what they think is safe or not safe.
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Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, and tell them you will look after an emergency bag for them.
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Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time. Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation.
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
How can I help my children?
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Do talk to your children – and listen to them. Most children will appreciate an opportunity to acknowledge the abuse and to talk about what they are feeling.
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Try to be honest about the situation, without frightening them, in an age appropriate manner. Reassure them that the abuse is not their fault and that they are not responsible for adult behaviour
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Explain to them that abuse is wrong and that it does not solve problems. Remember, your children will naturally trust you.
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Encourage your children to talk about their wishes and feelings. You could do this perhaps by doing an activity together, or encouraging them to draw or write about what is happening and how they feel about it. Your child’s teacher may be able to help you with this.
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Teach them how to get emergency help. Show them how to dial 10111 but make sure they are aware that they aren’t responsible for protecting you if you are being attacked.
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Praise them. Help to boost their self esteem by regularly giving them praise, attention and affection.
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Ask for help. Demonstrate that asking for help is a good thing – do it yourself so your children can see there is nothing to be ashamed of.
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
How can I help someone else?
We need to stop blaming survivors for staying and start supporting them to enable them to leave. By understanding the many barriers that stand in the way be it psychological, emotional, financial or physical threats – we can begin to support and empower women and men to make the best decision for them while holding abusers solely accountable for their behaviour. Here are just a few of the reasons that prevent a woman leaving:
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Danger and fear
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Isolation
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Shame, embarrassment or denial
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Trauma and low confidence
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Practical reasons
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The support isn’t there when they need it
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Leslie Morgan Steiner was in "crazy love" -- that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.
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OUR VOICES
CHARMAINE SOOBRAMONEY
The time is now to shake off the shackles, free our mind, body and soul. Be Brave as fear inhibits fulfilment, progress and success.
In the words of Nelson Mandela "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid but he who conquers that Fear"
Charmaine Soobramoney
MELISSA
DOLPHIN-ROWLAND
“Whatever our future may hold: we still want to say “yes” to life, because one day the time will come – then we will be free”.
Victor Frankl
EMILY SLOAN
As we see the of rise of divine feminine power across the globe, it’s inspiring to see a big company such as AA showing up and giving women access to an invisible army all around them. Not only could this support the fight against gender based violence but it also gives all women some simple but very liberating freedoms - such as being able to go for a hike or run alone.
Emily Sloan
SAMM MARSHALL
"The role men can play at home, work and public spaces is going to be critical if we are going to address the scourge of gender based violence. We need pledge campaigns, fathers committing to teach their sons who will be future husbands, brothers and friends of victims or even the perpetrators themselves. So it stops now! Each man should hold another one accountable."
Samm Marshall
WILLIAM GUMEDE
" Given the epidemic of violence against women there has to be a dramatic change in how boys are raised focusing on making them comfortable in their own skins, with their own feelings and vulnerabilities, without the need to affirm their manhood through violence, aggression and dominance".
Prof William Gumede
ADVOCATE NERISHA NAIDOO
Every woman should be able to go about her day - to walk the streets or ride the bus - and be safe, and be treated with respect and dignity. She deserves that.
Barack Obama
PHILIP PURNEL
“The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth.”
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
DR VASUDEV DAS
“low self-control is a major causative factor of gender-based violence (GBV)"
Dr Vasudev Das
WILLEM GROENEWALD
"We need to guard against the media we consume and the content we provide to the most inner corridors of our minds, for it is our thoughts that becomes us, that governs our behaviour and habits.
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Let us then incubate thoughts of love, tolerance kindness, peace and respect to one another and take a stand against violence to cure the moral fibre of a broken society."
Willem Groenewald, CEO of AA South Africa
ED DUDLEY
“We need men to stand up and speak out. It's going to take courageous and caring men to take a stand for their wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, and women as a hold. When we men act then we will be able to see meaningful change."
ED Dudley
RESOURCES & CONTACT DETAILS
Contact details (South Africa only)
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GBV Command Centre:
- 0800 428 428 / *120*7867# from any cell phone
- Persons with disabilities, SMS ‘help’ to 31531
Women Abuse Helpline:
- 0800 150 150
Tears GBV helpline:
-Dial *134*7355# (Free call), 010 590 5920 (standard rates apply) accessible 24/7
National Shelter Movement of South Africa:
-Helpline 0800 001 005 24hr toll free
-Send SMS, WhatsApp or Please Call Me to 082 057 8600 / 082 058 2215 / 072 230 7147
Child line:
- 0800 055 555
SAPS Crime Stop:
- 0860 10111 / SMS Crime Line: 32211
GBVF-related service complaints (SAPS):
- 0800 333 177
- complaintsnodalpoint@saps.gov.za
National Human Trafficking Helpline:
- 0800 222 777
Suicide Helpline:
- 0800 567 567
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Resources
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Thuthuzela Care Centres: https://www.gov.za/sites/default/files/gcis_speech/THUTHUZELA%20Care%20Centres.pdf
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